|Lights & Reflections|
I couldn't keep up (and truthfully lost interest) in finding goods for all the people I loved. I wanted to stop the obligatory treasure hunt, but was afraid of being judged and misunderstood. So I continued for a while longer, hoping I would eventually turn into the person Santa wanted me to be. The more I tried to participate in gifting, the more disconnected I felt from the beauty of the quiet season.
Lately I've been wondering if my birthdate has anything to do with all the kicking and screaming I sometimes feel like doing during the holidays. I came into the world on Christmas Eve. Later that day the hospital put me in a Christmas stocking and we returned home (which happened to be a converted school bus at that time). The gift of being alive was my first and greatest present.
I regularly receive condolences regarding this birth date. When required to show someone my driver's license, it's often followed by that familiar head shake. "What a bummer." "You must have gotten so ripped off." Sometimes I feel obligated to defend my inner-child. I let them know about my loving and generous family, though these corrections never seem to register. "Still, that sucks having your birthday on Christmas Eve!" I've assured strangers that yes, I did get 2 presents and a cake. It was as if my holidays were on steroids! It doesn't matter. Somehow, "You must have gotten screwed," never fails to be uttered in some form or another. Maybe folks are just trying to comfort me? Do they really think that receiving the maximum number of presents is critical for holiday enjoyment? If so, I should probably be the one doing the consoling. Thankfully, I have developed a sense of humor around these "poor you" assumptions.
|Birthday Suit Stocking|
Looking outside, I see the snow falling, and feel happy that this is enough. I'm grateful for the people in my life, everyday experiences, access to clean food and water, the ability to get adequate sleep, create and promote health, and find daily inspiration from mother nature. May we all find time to celebrate the light within ourselves, and each other. Making room for all who celebrate this time of year, in all the different ways.
~May we all live in presence~