Non-Violence for Dinner?

Love All Beings instead of Meat?

     Assuming I was already doing my best to be a decent human, what would be the point of overdoing it? I mean, why would I choose to eat carrot loaf while others dine on grass-fed burgers? Those were the types of thoughts I had about veganism two years ago.

Up until that point it didn't seem consequential enough to consider veganism. Besides, my taste buds would probably rebel like a child not getting enough sugar. The world's problems were clearly so much bigger than my personal eating habits. Passing the buck and burying my head in the sand had been working for this long, why change now?

As long as I was trying to do the organic, free-range, 'humanely slaughtered' thing, I felt cleared from further consideration of my food choices. Shouldn't we all be focusing on more important issues like racism, women's rights, domestic violence, child trafficking, deforestation, clean water access, protecting endangered species, climate change, and all the rest? Saying no to animal agriculture was not high on my priority list. Plus, like most everyone else I knew, I envisioned myself as not consuming that many animal products. The rationale of 'not that much' is a strategic phrase, helping us to feel unaffliliated with even our own choices.

Most restaurants and family dinners are supporters (knowingly and unknowingly) of  CAFOs (Confined Animal Feeding Operations). Even though I am against the cruel and mechanistic treatment of animals, I didn't feel like I could do anything about it. Except maybe go to the Birchwood Cafe, where the animals live happily before their demise. So called sustainably harvested animals were much more expensive, but if I didn't consume 'that much,' it seemed like the way to go. Unless of course you were to question the ethics of killing any animal (happy or not), or the actual unsustainability of the grass-fed fantasy. Either way, the number of 'happy' animals it would take to feed us all, does not compute. The rainforests are already being destroyed for our outdated eating habits. It's easy to see that there isn't enough land in the world to support the animals that feed the humans.

Compassion Begins On Your Plate.

Once the light bulb of awareness went on, it kept flashing. 'Stop ignoring your contribution to the cycle of violence,' it seemed to say.  I hadn't even begun to consider the beingness of animals, or that their sole purpose for existence was not to become organic cream in my coffee. We are raised in a society that overlooks the suffering of animals. The 'everybody does it,' mob mentality had taken over my ability to think for myself. If self proclaimed animal lovers and environmentalists supported our dependence on animal exploitation, why should I rock the meat and dairy boat? Evading my responsibility seemed easier than opening my eyes, until one day it didn't. Listening to the 45th president speak with cruelty helped me to reflect on my own. Where did I support cruelty? I had to look no further than my plate and my shoes. If I had time to criticize politicians for their greed and brutality, I had time to be the change I wished to see.

Now that I've quit making excuses for my long lingering denial, I've gained a new capacity for thought. My worldview has changed, raising even more radical questions. I wonder about the physical, emotional and energetic consequences of ingesting suffering and violence? I wonder what would happen if children and adults were taught to truly respect animals? I wonder why it's considered normal to torture others? Has society as a whole become addicts of the meat and dairy industry?  Why do humans feel superior to other beings? Why do some humans feel superior to other humans? What about those who refer to women as 'pieces of meat,' does that have anything to do with the rates in which women are hunted, raped and killed? What would it be like to live in a world where people did not presume power over others? Why do we need advertisements reminding us to continue harming animals for food? There was only one answer I had to all of those questions. I could step outside of my conditioning and stop supporting the madness.

Facts about animal agriculture which I'd previously noted, vaguely acknowledged, but never taken into active consideration, have my full attention now. The ritual of looking away, or pulling the spiritual bypassing card no longer works, and I couldn't be happier about it. Giving thanks for the abundance of dead animals on the table does not erase the horrors of how they got there. Calling it ceremonial, medicinal, traditional or nourishing, usually only serves as a well meaning cover up.

The lifestyle practices of yoga & meditation are based on compassion. The ethical guidelines of yoga include ahimsa (non-violence), satya (truth), asteya (non-stealing), aparigraha (non-greed) and brahmacharya (non-excess). It's often said that if you can only focus on one, practice ahimsa (non-violence). All the rest will fall into place. May we all find the courage to digest the truth about animal agriculture and help to create a more consciously connected world. We are not free until others are free. That's the real deal. It is the deepest meditation that all beings should be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. While we're hopefully all busy taking down the framework that produced the patriarchy and white supremacy, how about we dismantle speciesism while we're at it? Many injustices can be true all at once, and there is no doubt that they are all connected.

"As long as there are slaughterhouses there will be battlefields." -Leo Tolstoy

Pop-up Wellness Respite

   

Massage Camp

     A friend and I were able to touch in after the disaster in Puerto Rico this past month with a mobile massage offering. Our pop-up beach spa focused on volunteers, health care workers, teachers and organizers. At times we went off the beach and into the communities with hopeful hands. Thankfully, it wasn't difficult to find willing massage participants. I feel so enriched by those who reflected their open hearts and minds right back at us. The healing power of loving presence was so clear and permeating, we were often brought to tears. Sharing intentions of healing energy and holding space for even short periods of time was truly meaningful and worthwhile for all involved.

Now to bring those loving intentions and actions into daily life where it's often easy to get side-tracked with unhelpful mind states. The homework I've assigned for myself is to keep a softer lens on my day-to-day encounters. Knowing that any action can be healing when done with love, why bother with any other motivator? I'm inspired to explore more ways to generate and serve it up in 2018. I believe we are all being called to uplift the collective consciousness. It feels like an energetic emergency! Just think of all the ways there are to acknowledge our infinitely interconnected selves.

One Love

I suspect that January's blue moon was partially responsible for the ease in feeling the cosmic alignment that's always in play? Or maybe it was the ocean salt soaks, barefoot sand walks, and fires at night while communing with the stars. The sounds of the cicadas, coquis, crashing waves, and the occasional booming surround-sound systems all resonated with my own natural rhythms. Even the bug bites reminded me of our unavoidable connectedness.

To top it off, which we did regularly, thanks to a remarkable invention by Moses West! His super amazing Atmospheric Water Generator kept us very happily hydrated all month long. Drinking atmospheric water was transformative to my whole being. Every cell in my body seemed to dance when I drank it. Guzzling our finely filtered surroundings also added a whole new meaning to becoming one with nature. I hope his brilliant solution for harvesting clean water and making it available to all, catches on fast! Especially since we all know WATER IS LIFE.

Moses West and his Atmospheric Water Generator

Paired with the purest water I've ever ingested, it was also my first time traveling with vegan intentions. For the most part, I felt victorious and found my way around animal agriculture just fine. Especially (and mainly) because we quickly took meals into our own hands. Our first few rounds of shopping opened my eyes to sparsity and long lines. I became concerned that I'd end up eating nothing but processed chemicals to survive. The kid in me was secretly hoping I'd be 'forced' into buying those enormous canisters of Keebler Elf soda crackers featured in every aisle. Instead, my travel companion and I sought out real food at the farmer's market. Twice per week a truck pulled into town with fruits, vegetables and nuts. We were able to keep a cooler maintained for continuous salad making. Fresh, pungent turmeric (acquired from a local garden) went on everything, along with apple cider vinegar and olive oil. Consequently, we ended up thriving rather than just surviving.

Teacher massage day in Vieques

Knowing that everything and all of us are connected, how can we contribute to collective healing today? There's little doubt of the collective disturbance and discord in us (as individuals, and as a society). Thankfully, we all have direct access to the healing power of loving presence as the anecdote for much of our suffering. Confrontations with fear, skepticism and doubt seem to be scattered all over the place, but serve as great reminders to simply trust in the supreme power of love.

I am seeing that to give is to receive and in receiving we allow others to have the gift of giving. In this way, how could we possibly identify as the givers or the helpers? Who would be helping who? Perhaps there are no others and we're all in this together? Instead of applauding each other for helping, why not recognize that we are also simultaneously the helped? On that note, here are some clarifying words from the Aboriginal Activists Groups (Queensland, 1970s):

"If you have come to help me you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together."  

Karma Cooks

Chop, Chop!

      Grandma loved to cook. She also spent much of her time thinking, talking and reading about cooking. When we went out to restaurants she had the habit of asking people at neighboring tables about their selection, "That looks delicious; what is it?" She had an undeniable way of equating loving care with food. Consistent with her sense of hospitality she supported her family as a career waitress. When she wasn't out serving food at a bustling restaurant she could be found in her own kitchen, feeding her family, and a regular crew of drop-ins. Browsing through her well used Betty Crocker cookbook (which I feel fortunate to have inherited) I recall her nurturing ways.
 
Unlike both of my grandmothers I did not have a household of mouths to feed, nor did I live through the Great Depression. I've never followed a recipe from Betty Crocker, and wouldn't know what to do with a frozen chicken. Contrastingly, my interest in cooking grew from working in beautiful yoga focused settings, emphasizing the path of karma yoga. Karma yoga is also known as "seva" or selfless service. The idea is to serve from the heart which is accomplished by tending to the present moment with compassion for all. It's one of the branches of yoga that seeks to develop habits of mindfulness during ordinary tasks. Whether working in a kitchen or just feeding yourself everyday, food preparation is one of the many practical ways to practice yoga.

Garden to Table

My first experience with karma yoga was at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in Massachusetts. During the 3.5 month commitment at the center I had a rather tumultuous relationship with my kitchen shifts. I was often fixated on experiencing the more pleasant parts of the day. Yoga classes, lectures, outdoor time and freedom were all waiting for me. If only I could check the mundane, time consuming, kitchen chores off my list. Despite the advice we received about doing our work with love and presence, my mind was often watching the clock. "Cut up one more bag of potatoes and then I'll start enjoying this place."

In addition to not getting the point of karma yoga, I was content in assuming the best about the origins of my food. My emphasis on being healthy had little regard for the planet. Yet, there would always be someone initiating a food reflection. The reflections acknowledged everything and everyone involved in making the meal possible. Just another thing I muddled through,"Yes, the food had to go through a lot to get here, let's eat already!" Looking back at my tender young self gives me a sense of compassion for those who may feel similarly today. During my karma yoga experiences, I always enjoyed participating in a vegetarian lifestyle, but inevitably resumed an all-inclusive cuisine once I returned to the "real world."

Cookbook Revolution

I did not anticipate transitioning to a vegan diet at the age of 45. However, the realities of animal agriculture, climate change and land misuse became suddenly unpalatable to me. If animal agriculture is the main cause of deforestation, why was I supporting it? Factory farming practices were not getting any less  cruel, corrupt or unsustainable. My strategy of eating only grass-fed burgers (which provides a better life for the cow) failed to address the misuse of the resources needed to create a happier cow. Although my taste buds were a bit worried at first, my craving and addiction for meat and dairy products has subsided. To my surprise, I have even developed a distaste for animal products.

One of the big reasons I participated in the animal food chain for so long was to avoid offending or inconveniencing others. The idea of seeming ungrateful was unthinkable to me. Now that I see how the meat and dairy industry harms people, animals and the planet, I'm no longer concerned about being overly polite or unnecessarily accommodating. If a simple, "no thank you" offends someone, perhaps the examination of good manners falls on them. It may sound picky or precious to abstain from certain "foods," but personal freedom is something I feel very fortunate to exercise and celebrate.

Karma yoga planted some mindfulness seeds that have finally taken over my kitchen. It's not a stretch to expand concepts of nourishment to include: caring about the health of farmers, the land and water, needless suffering of animals, and the elimination of harmful chemicals in our food systems.

Even though I won't be following any recipes from my grandma's cookbook, I will be using her nurturing intentions. She was a karma cook of another generation. Access to organic food, resources and information allow me to continue her legacy, by turning up the heat on love, the main ingredient in all of her dishes.

~May all beings be free from suffering~

Hustle-free Holidays

     

Lights & Reflections

     In American Christmas culture it seems like one either identifies with the Grinch, or Saint Consumer Claus. For many years I chose to follow the ways of the shopping saint. As a youngster, it was deeply important that I purchased and/or made gifts for nearly everyone in my life. I would inevitably fail at the task. The fun of having matched some people with a special gift was canceled out by the disappointed of not including everyone.

I couldn't keep up (and lost interest), in finding stuff for all the people I loved. I wanted to stop the obligatory treasure hunt, but was afraid of being judged and misunderstood. So I continued for a while longer, hoping I would eventually turn into the person Santa expected me to be. The more I tried to participate in gifting, the more disconnected I felt from the beauty of the quiet season.

Practicing Presence

Eventually, not playing Christmas gifts became a celebrational decision for me. It's been over 10 years since I stopped equating love with presents. Not even the modified ways of consuming Christmas have caught my interest. When I hear things like, "Oh we don't buy gifts for everyone anymore," it still sounds like unnecessary shopping. It's been suggested that I could simply buy gift cards, subscriptions to magazines, shop online, or participate in the name drawing game. When I report that I've opted out on all the above, I'm usually met with blank and uncomfortable stares. It's an unintentional conversation stopper.

Now I find my resonance enjoying colorful lights, seasonal smells, and turning up the music. It's a great time for connecting with people, being alone, and getting outside into nature. I feel joy for those who are joyful at this time. I also feel sadness and despair for those who continue to suffer in great ways, all over the world. Heartfelt connection can also be hard felt. There seems to be an abundance of opportunity to feel it all. Making the silent nights, the most holy nights, for letting it all settle in.

Birthday Suit Stocking

Lately I've been wondering if my birthdate has anything to do with the kicking and screaming I sometimes feel like doing during the holidays? After joining the world on Christmas Eve, I was put into a stocking the nurses made, and sent home. The gift of being alive was my first and greatest present, but I'm sure it must have involved some kicking and crying.

I often receive condolences regarding my birth date. When required to show someone my driver's license, it's frequently  followed by that familiar head shake. "What a bummer." "You must have gotten so ripped off."  Sometimes I feel obligated to defend my inner-child, by letting them know about my loving and generous family. Though these corrections never seem to register. "Still, that sucks having your birthday on Christmas!" In reality, it was as if my holidays were on steroids. Two presents, a cake, and birthday singing! It doesn't matter. Somehow, "You must have gotten screwed," never fails to be uttered in some form or another. Maybe folks are just trying to comfort me? Do they really think that receiving the maximum number of presents is the whole point of holiday enjoyment? If so, I should probably be the one doing the consoling. Thankfully, I have developed a good sense of humor around all of these "poor you" assumptions.

Looking outside, I see the snow falling, and feel happy that this is enough. I'm grateful for the people in my life, everyday experiences, access to clean food and water, the ability to get adequate sleep, creating and promoting health and find daily inspiration from mother nature. May we all find time to celebrate the light within ourselves, and each other. Making room for all who celebrate this time of year, in all the different ways.

~May we all live in presence~

Everyday Explorers

Let it Crack.

     A discount airline with a squirrel on the wing returned me from California last week. During the slow taxiing to the gate, I contemplated arrival on a cold Minnesota night. Everything felt so extreme. A week in the Los Angeles area with temperatures reaching over 100°F, emphasized that feeling. From one extreme to another, and that was just the weather.

A satisfying dose of summer travel has helped me shake up some familiar habit patterns. New scenes are so effective in getting my full attention. Encounters with traffic jams and waterfalls were able to show me where I tighten up, and where I feel most free. Friends and family reflected back where I've grown and where I still need to do some planting. Some emotional uprooting helped clear new paths of understanding with loved ones. Oh yeah, and a sprinkling of misunderstandings just to round it all off.

Passing Moments.

When in travel mode, surroundings are often perceived as extraordinary. Food seems extra flavorful, color palettes stand out even more, and everyone seems abnormally interesting. Monotony doesn't really exist in traveler's mind. Unless of course you stay long enough, which I usually do. With exposure, everything starts to crack a little. And luckily, as Leonard Cohen pointed out, 'that's where the light gets in.'

Noticing what I bring to a situation, whether or not I unpack my attachments and conditioning, is always eye opening. What outdated notions did I bring along? Is there a compost bin where I can toss these worn out ideas or behaviors? Staying current with ourselves and each other is as valuable as getting up to date.

Thankfully, conscious breathing is the ultimate portable travel tool. Mentally, emotionally, and anatomically, we are continually in the process of inflating or deflating ourselves. We see our response to the moment when resisting an inhale, holding onto an exhale, or being at ease. In any moment, is your body breathing with acceptance or resistance? It takes frequent trips inside of ourselves (surfing our own everyday extremes), to go where many have never been. For everyday explorers, continually arriving and taking off is found in the vast terrain of the present moment.

Finding Grace in Losing Face

Even the Buddha loses his head.

     While learning about massage and bodywork over the years, one common precaution tends to echo throughout the modalities. When people receive bodywork, you never know what will arise. This brings to mind a 10-day cranio-sacral (subtle bodywork) course I once attended. Although the seeds were being planted, I think I was the only one in the group who didn't believe that 'your issues live in your tissues.'

Fast forward a bunch of years... my issues are definitely alive in my tissues. Sometimes this awareness happens during meditation, yoga, or massage. I've also had the honor of witnessing many others dive beneath their thoughts, into the somatic experience of being alive. As the fascinating book, The Body Keeps the Score explains, there's so much more to our operating systems than what we are consciously aware. 

Exploring the subtle and energetic body is no small adventure. In fact, a deep yoga practice doesn't always sound like an easy invitation. Lately, I've been doing a great job at keeping it on the lighter side. When something deeper does arise, I'm pretty quick to put a harsh spin on it, dismiss it entirely, or cut the practice short. My mind has been negotiating a stay in the shallow end of the pool, avoiding those attention saturated, subtle body experiences.

Cutting myself short in this way started translating into some pretty unskillful and distorted communication with others as well. Of course! Seeing this direct connection has helped me slowly deepen my own experience again. I want to practice being a better listener, for myself and others. If I do lose my head, I'd like it to be because I'm inhabiting my whole body.

Getting back to some multi-layered, body focused practices can bring tears, extreme discomfort, unexpected irritation, indescribable joy, and much more. I can no longer doubt what deep listening and allowing can bring to light. Instead of wasting precious energy on creating detours and road closures for myself, I now see the importance of holding the uncomfortable even more gently.

Now the Sun's Coming Up

   

   

Shadow & Light (Yin/Yang).

      I've been living with an open invitation these past few months. Open to experiencing all the uncomfortable aspects of being a human. Feeling at times, like I'm stumbling around in the dark, hitting my head on unexpected objects. When sensations of pain or discomfort arise, my reflexive habit wants to rush in with distraction. Distraction deadens down the unfamiliar and unpleasant sensations. I've been kindly asking those distracted rescue habits to take a break, in order to feel life more fully.

In a world filled with obvious despair, my own feeling tone had become tired, dark, and heavy. I was starting to wonder, how does anyone come out from the weight of the unending atrocities surrounding us? I found comfort in knowing that there is never yin (darkness) without yang (light).

Although it didn't coordinate with the calendar's first day of spring, I'm finally feeling the seasons change from inside my body. There is a distinct lightness in my step (I give credit to Feldenkrais classes for helping me find this new bounce), and lightness in my heart.

Tend Your Garden.

Light has come. It's shining on the truth of impermanence, the law of nature. For a few moments, I imagine humanity as a giant garden. Stocked with perennials, annuals, edibles, noxious weeds, poisonous fruits, and dead branches. Some of us root deep and take over large areas. Destroying other plants in the process. Some only bloom once. Some sprout out of garbage dumps. There are bunk, beneficial, and contaminated seeds. This imagery inspires me to care-fully tend my own soil and garden. It dares me to feel joy in a perfectly imperfect world.

Mary Oliver asks, 'What are you going to do with your one wild and precious life?' My heart knows the answer to be presence. Yes, I want to be fully present with my one wild and precious life. I want to be willing to accept change within and around me. Willing to feel and evolve in any given moment.

             ~Every inhale enters into darkness, returning the exhale to the light.~

United States of Ourselves

     

Out of the Shadows

     With a silent soundtrack, I meet the ground with my body. Looking into what feels uneasy in me. Waiting with non-judgmental curiosity for whatever shows up. I want to know, where does resentment live in my body? What does it feel like? I watch the waves of discomfort as they arise and pass away.

 Since the election results, I've been diving into my own shadows. Aspects of myself sequestered to an unconscious realm are getting a warm welcoming back. I need to feel what is plaguing our society in my own body/mind. It's been a nauseating practice. When I felt the first ripple of resentment emerge, I almost didn't recognize myself. Resentment has a different quality than some of it's better known relatives. Anger and rage are easier to identify, more socially acceptable, and expected. With injustice all around us, tapping into anger is as easy as 1, 2, 3. Resentment is more elusive.

Every time we buy into thinking we're not quite enough, resentment sprouts. We feed insecurity to ourselves, our families, and friends (in commonplace, unconscious ways). Comparing ourselves with others has become a sickness. As Theodore Roosevelt noted, "Comparison is the thief of joy." As young children we notice the disparities. We juxtapose the opportunities and lifestyles of our peers. We even try to size up our experiences of love. If we come up short on anything, these feelings of 'not quite enough' may try to hide out, taking residency as chronic tension, stress, and anxiety. From this place of lack, we vote, hoard our belongings, and further feed illusions of separateness.

No matter how fortunate one may appear, feelings of not having enough are often hiding under the surface. Inadequacy becomes a mind-set that is independent of actual circumstances. We all want more of something, whether it's job satisfaction, unconditional love, money, respect, relationship success, contentment, stamps in our passport, attractiveness, talent, wit, health, power, or something else.

In addition to standing up and protecting the oppressed, we need to acknowledge the tyranny that exists within our own body/minds. We can continue to validate our inner oppressor, or overthrow it with awareness. Every time I act in disgust towards those I love, or use punishing and controlling behavior in any way, I empower my inner oppressor. Anytime I disregard another to get something I want, I feed the greed of the world. For comfort, we all build walls around ourselves. It's not just happening at the borders. Unchecked, these walls get stronger.

Bringing all of this internal tension out from the shadows, frees up the vital energy used in keeping it away. With compassionate understanding, I invite my stuck habits and deep conditioning to my meditation/yoga practice. All mental and emotional states, however seemingly outdated are allowed to be noticed and felt. Caring for what's difficult in myself is essential for understanding others.

Ideas of self-care can evolve beyond extra large Margaritas and a hammock. Catering to our senses is not necessarily care at all. Staying busy, distracted, and numb are actually the insidious self-neglect strategies encouraged by our society. I may call it taking care of myself, when I'm actually just engaging in some form of overindulgence, or avoidance tactic.

In order to prevent corruption, the government within myself needs ongoing investigating. I need to keep a close inner eye on my strong opinions department. My labeling and categorizing of people department causes problems, especially when I don't think I have that department. I can't forget to check into my moral police force, and all the other miscellaneous dogma I've unintentionally accumulated in my psyche. Left unchecked, self-sabotaging mind states flourish and contaminate those around us. It is up to us to take a regular and honest inventory of our thoughts, righteous beliefs, and behaviors they create. Society benefits when we can petition our own mind closures, and emotional road blocks.

Being with our difficult emotions, feelings, and sensations is a revolutionary act. The willingness to be with our own emotional pain is a form of personal and political activism. Uniting our own states, means bravely recognizing our limiting thought patterns, fear, inherited grief, pettiness, sadness, and all of the challenging aspects of being a human being. Compassionate awareness is an antidote. Bravely investigating our inner terrain, we can make better friends with ourselves. Softening our hearts around our own difficulties, we can better connect and unite outside of ourselves.

~May our hearts open in boundless compassion for the benefit of all beings everywhere ~

A Rub Down on Massage

A Circle to Center

     I completed a therapeutic massage training in Minneapolis twenty years ago. I wanted to bring more massage into my life. Who doesn't? I anticipated trading this skill with other massage therapists, friends, and family. In lieu of shopping for special occasion gifts, massage seemed like the perfect 'get out of shopping for life' card.

I was definitely not interested in massaging strangers, or dealing with money transactions. Massage seemed like something that should be given freely. The dreaded misconception of linking all massage with the sex industry was also something I wanted to avoid like the plague. I didn't want to be associated with the 'happy endings,' advertised as "massage," in the back pages of everyday publications.

Other mental obstacles arose. What if I wasn't good enough to charge money for massage? What if someone was offensive, demanding, or somehow repulsive? I didn't want to face any discomfort over these possible scenarios. Yet, getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, has proven to be as valuable a skill as the massage techniques themselves.

My real interest in massage/bodywork came from experiencing it for myself. I loved being on the receiving end of what felt like profound (albeit momentary) bliss. Receiving massage introduced me to the state of being present in my body. Without massage in my life, I would likely have viewed yoga as just another routine exercise class, and meditation as a complete waste of time. Instead, these practices have given me a felt sense of being alive. Transporting me from an over-thinking mind, to what feels like a sacred state of presence.

In the last few years massage has circled back onto my radar. Giving massage has become almost as gratifying as receiving! Trust in the effectiveness of massage has replaced every one of those old fears. I know now that we all crave healing, human touch, and connection to a more centered self. People of all personality types, ages, sizes, and shapes want to be free from suffering. Massage helps to relieve suffering. I've also discovered that many non-massage therapists are as good (or better) than those with formal training. Asking a trusted friend to experiment with massage techniques can be a great way to get started!

Modes of Travel

    

A New Point of View

     Taking a break from habit in order to administer the medicine of change may require some kind of travel. Whether this travel involves an airline ticket, or a turn inward for meditative travel, resistance often lurks.

In order to embrace needed change, I first need to acknowledge any protesters to it. These mind critics sound a lot like the weather channel reporting on an event, 'Stay safe, don't travel unless absolutely necessary.' If it didn't feel absolutely necessary for mental, emotional, and physical health, I probably wouldn't travel outside of my known comforts.

A change of scenery can be as simple as taking a walk through an unfamiliar town, or finding a new tree to lean against for a while. One thing is for sure, fresh eyes awaken when our routines are shaken. Our brains work differently when we step outside of our patterns. We become more engaged, creative and interested in our surroundings. Mood is often lifted.

If traditional ideas of travel are not practical or accessible (or even if they are), we can always rely on a change of scenery through inner body travel. Inner modes of travel such as meditation, yoga, massage, tai chi, or acupuncture are excellent ways to break up our habit patterns. There is no 'Rough Guide' for inner body travel, which make it particularly adventurous. Sensing and feeling our way through embodied practices, we get a needed break from the deep grooves of habit.

Whatever the mode of travel, curiosity and non-judgment are the most important qualities to unpack. The depths of open-minded travel are uncharted. Staying curious to whatever is happening (during each movement, pause, and repetition) will help make a journey worthwhile.

It's said that an enlightened being would know freshness in all moments, no matter how mundane or redundant. Perhaps the Enlightened One has cultivated a traveler's mind in all circumstances? Whether traveling existentially, by train, plane, or yoga pose, you'll know you're experiencing a traveler's mindset when the moment at hand has the fullness of your loving attention.

The Art of Crotch Flashing

painting by Jessie Fisher

     When I think about yoga, I do not imagine a person in tights standing on one leg while pulling his/her opposite foot up towards the sky. Natarajasana (Dancer Pose) is undoubtedly a valid and ancient yoga pose, though perhaps it isn't the quintessence of yoga. Still the mere mention of the word 'yoga' frequently produces a tremulous demonstration of it by someone in the room. This yoga-based skit might draw out some "oo's," "ahhs," and sometimes even laughs. Artful crotch flashing makes for entertaining yoga theater.

Part of my cringe regarding this coveted pose comes from early attempts at teaching it. I regularly included it in classes as an impressive goal pose. It seemed easier to please our  egos than challenge them with too much yoga philosophy. Though easier was definitely not as interesting. 

Essential guidance from yoga's Yamas and Niyamas encourage non-harming, non-greed, and non-grasping as focal points for yoga practice (and life). When our minds and hearts are aligned with such intentions for practice, the poses become loving experiments in self-acceptance and inner peace.

Pop-up sidewalk meditation. (I'm the teen on the right)

The benefits of yoga could be missed if I'm more concerned about getting my toe to my whatever. Those types of external benchmarks are not measurements of yoga competency.

Instead, being aware of how we meet our bodily experiences and sensations as they arise (and pass), show us valuable information about how we meet life. Can we practice without struggle or strain? How do we sit comfortably with emptiness? What would right effort feel like?

As a teen, I spent a few summers living in a home with a Japanese Buddhist family. My brother and dad resided in a shack in the backyard. My dad worked on the home in exchange for our accommodations. The family also happened to be our friends, and enjoyed having us around the premises. A small Buddhist temple in the living room often caught my attention. MTV was going downhill, so mimicking the Buddha statue gave me something else to do with my free time.  Even though I wasn't aware of any meditation techniques, showing up, ringing the bell, and sitting down felt like enough. This precious practice introduced me to the feeling of being at home in my own body, if only for a few minutes at a time. 

Yoga is sometimes referred to as a goalless practice. There is no final destination and nothing to be accomplished. The expansive present is the practice. Beyond achieving, posturing and proving.

"Yoga asks us to walk a razor's edge, to devote ourselves wholeheartedly to a particular pose, while fully understanding that on another level, the pose is arbitrary and irrelevant. If we cling to the form of the poses as ultimate truth, we miss the point. The poses were born from the practice of yogis who looked inside themselves..." -Anne Cushman

Sidewalk Somatics

 

Urban camping; view from my sleeping bag.

  Spending the night on the 48th street sidewalk the other night gave me a chance to practice SomaYoga in a unique setting. Inside my sleeping bag it was easy to utilize somatic movement without anyone knowing a yoga practice was in session. Subtle, conscious movement eased some very tense muscles calmed my shivering nerves, and soothed my reactive mind.

Seeing Saturday Night Live was the catalyst for the overnight adventure on the streets of New York City. In order to see the show we would need to be in line for stand-by only tickets a day in advance. Some fans had been camped since Wednesday. "That's crazy, " I judged.

I felt like a well-off homeless person for the night, with proper gear, and money for food trucks. Yet it was still an exercise in suffering with near freezing temps. I struggled to stay warm and failed at being cheerful. Across the street, I saw those who had no choice but to sleep on the street. I felt guilt for being a pampered person of privilege, willing to suffer for my own sense pleasures (entertainment). I watched the arising and passing of the 5 hinderances all night long.

Sleepless on the sidewalk.

Meanwhile, the city provided non-stop auditory stimulation, which started to have a redundant theme of idling garbage trucks and yelling. New Yorkers generally offered their full approval (SNL being the prideful institution that it is here), but the tourists were not as understanding and expressed their opinions openly. "You people are insane!" After being called crazy by countless strangers, I started to wonder if it were true. Had I gone mad? Am I like one of those shoppers waiting in line for a giant television discount?

 I thought again about the chronically homeless and the reactions they must endure every day. I mulled over the hypocrisy of humanity. I watched women walk by in unhealthy shoes, carrying loads of shopping bags. Men unable to walk straight due to alcohol poisoning. Many of them shouting out their opinions, as if they somehow had the recipe for the right way to live. All of us labeling what we don't understand as "crazy." Eventually I took refuge in the Oneness. We are all in this swirling mess together trying to make sense of it in our own ways.

It would have been fun to see Tina Fey and Amy Poehler work their comedy magic. Unfortunately, we did not make it into the show with the stand-by tickets. Fortunately, I do not live on the street. A hot bath, good sleep, and attitude adjustment later, I'm still thinking about our brothers and sisters who are still out there trying to stay safe and warm.

                    ~May all beings be free from suffering and from the causes of suffering~

Yoga for the Ages

Artful interpretation of yoga.

     Learning to slow down and tune-in is possible at any age. Since focusing on the therapeutic applications of yoga, it's funny how often I hear, "you should work with the elderly." This is often followed by the number one question asked by the yoga curious, "do you teach that hot yoga?" I began wondering if people were under the impression that only those 100+ years would benefit from slowing down, while the rest of the population prefers extreme heat and speed?

There are so many incoming messages regarding yoga styles. Yoga Journal and other popular magazines tend to feature the most advanced poses on their covers. As if the general population might be able "to do" the poses advertised, or at least wish they could. Yet, at its core philosophy, yoga is a practice of undoing. The undoing of attachments, expectation, greed. The undoing of holding on so tight, not only in our muscles, but around our concepts of what we "should" be able to do. It is not possible for the experience of yoga to be simulated or photographed.

 A new friend demonstrating "yoga" at 90.

Many people (of all ages) do not feel comfortable slowing down.  Perhaps it seems too passive? How can I be "better" if I'm not "doing" more? For others, slowing down can be the most difficult instruction imaginable. All the more reason to advance your practice by slowing it down. I feel sadness when I hear people approaching yoga as if it were something to be performed. When one thinks they are "not good at" or "can't do" yoga, they might be discouraged from practicing at all. Though the external appearance of a yoga pose can be quite stunning, it is the inner body experiencing that makes it uniquely yoga.

Comparing and striving are not part of yoga's guiding principals. The yamas & niyamas rather, emphasize dwelling in the recognition of presence/energy/soma, not developing a stronger ego/mind.

Approaching yoga in a somatic way challenges our habitual movements and hurried minds. I am already a pro at rushing and multi-tasking. These are skills are valued in modern lifestyles. I wanted to be valued, so I learned to hurry at a young age. Perhaps this is why feeling and sensing the inner body experience is what I most cherish about yoga. It is a chance to be, not a thing to get.

This month I've decided to add yoga sessions for people 80-100+ to my schedule. This is easy to do, since I have connections with 3 grandparents and their communities. I'm not concerned about what my elders will be able to "do." Breath awareness, yoga for the hands, face, shoulders, feet, eyes, and ears make for deep and healing yoga practices at any age. The pose pictured above will definitely not be the goal, but does demonstrate that the body can be flexible (or hypermobile) at any age.

SomaYoga at Stillpoint

Peace in every step?

     When I watched the guests at Stillpoint Lodge move with curiosity through their yoga classes, it inspired me to do the same with my daily living habits. An essential aspect of SomaYoga is to "stay curious." Stay interested in what's happening, as it's happening.

Most of us dabble in auto-pilot living. Sometimes we get stuck in reflexive living. We've all pulled out stale or canned responses in newly given moments, and sometimes this routine response to life becomes hard wired in our brains. This might be fine if rote living didn't create tension in our muscles, minds, and affect our relationships. On the flip side, staying curious turns boredom into entertainment, and makes the most overwhelming situations more manageable. Being grateful for whatever curious thing arises next, keeps me from being a slave to my particular set of likes and dislikes. As a major bonus, whenever I remember to trade in judgement for curiosity & gratitude, I experience peace.

Understanding that each moment is an original, why not get interested in every given one? Why limit ourselves to enjoying life only when it is meeting our demands? When I fall away from a playful curiosity towards myself and others, I miss the opportunity for gratitude and happiness.

No rushing going on here.

Rushing to get to the next, possibly better moment, in order to continue rushing to the next, is no longer a lifestyle I want to support for myself. Knowing that I can only live one moment at a time, as they are given. Now is the time to get curious about life, in all the ways it presents itself.

Who's Your Mama?

     Another round of the warm seasons in Alaska sounded like a good idea, even though I had not planned on repeating last summer's itinerary. But as Heraclitus wrote, "No man ever steps into the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man."

Mothering Hen

I arrived back in Halibut Cove ten days ago, noticing how many things really had changed. For starters, my nanny gig has a new baby in the mix! Her seven year old sister is displaying a growing maturity and a sassy new haircut. I thought about all the obvious changes while watching one of the hens, remembering her as a tiny chick last year at this time. This hen, lovingly named Poof, had been sitting on unfertilized eggs, anticipating they would hatch. The situation gave her human caregivers an idea. They purchased 6 chicks and placed them under Poof in the night. The broody hen is now caring for the chicks as if they were her own.

I couldn't help but notice some similarities between me and the hen. I too, had become an instant mother figure for the season. "We are all children of the Universe" is an adage that keeps going through my head. It led me to think that we are probably all mothers too. Whether you hatch your own chicks or not, male of female, I think there is a mother in all of us. Mine is excited for this summer. Another new element this season is that my room floats on the sea! How soothing to be rocked to sleep by Mother Nature herself.

There is also a new crew, which is sure to bring up ample opportunities for mind-study. Indeed, it is not the same river and I am not the same woman.

Expectations in Sound

What would sound look like?

     Do you ever find yourself feeling agitated by sound? How about in places where silence is expected? One example that comes to mind happened while participating in a 10 day silent meditation. I was assigned a room with a very talkative roommate. Even after addressing the issue with the facilitator the woman continued to talk, both to herself, and to me. I certainly had not expected to room with a sound maker during a silent retreat!

Another time during a silent retreat, major construction was happening next door. The on-going sounds of table saws, hammers, and classic rock radio wasn't mentioned in the weekend program. Without a doubt, my expectations caused me to suffer. I was attached to the idea of an uncluttered environment, which included the absence of noise.

Perhaps it's sirens, a screaming child, or people talking all at once that causes auditory distress? Whatever it may be that irks your ears, try playing with this creative anecdote for embracing the "unexpected" sounds of life. Before beginning this listening experience, you might read & remember that "The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences."  Then, try listening to this sound meditation by Maximum Lotus with an open mind, free of expectation:

- Begin by listening to the first few minutes of the composition with your eyes open (to enjoy
    the musicians). Close your eyes for the duration.
- Listen & experience whatever arises in your body/mind, both pleasant & unpleasant.
- Notice all the different sounds (in the same way you might acknowledge your thoughts during
  a more traditional meditation).
- Allow the sounds to replace your thoughts for the next 13 minutes.
- Notice where various sounds settle in your body. Do they move around? Can you let them go?
  *Continue sitting in silence for 5 minutes (or more)  and feel the effects when it's finished.*
- Consider sharing your experience here, or with another.